Gizmodo Gift Guide

Gifts to Help Your Sad Friend Get Their Shit Together Gifts for People Who Need a Hero Who Isn't Another White Guy Gifts for Adults Who Still Like Toys and Things, Which Is Totally Normal Nowadays, Shut Up Gifts to Help You Survive and Prosper After the Apocalypse Gifts for People Who Don't Want to Leave Their House Ever Again

Gifts to Help Your Sad Friend Get Their Shit Together

Your friend is in rut. Due to a variety of circumstances which may or may not be under their control, several things are not good. It’s ok! It happens to everyone!

What sucks is that at this point, you can’t really do much about it. I can’t either. I don’t know your friend. But having crawled out of a few sad holes of my own, I offer you this highly subjective and possibly questionable list of stuff your friend might need right now, in order from urgent to celebratory. Let’s get ‘em back on track before the rest of their life implodes. ‘Tis the season!

A Jug of Heavy Duty Odor Cleaner

A Jug of Heavy Duty Odor Cleaner

This particular brand kills any scent of mess and despair and is very economical! Fuck this “tidy home, tidy mind” bullshit. They’re not going to feel better just because their kitchen floor is no longer covered with soup puddle and crusty bong water. But they probably don’t feel like cleaning right now and the neighbors are starting to complain about the smell. Scrubadubdub!

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Mouse Traps

Mouse Traps

I’m sure they don’t want to talk about it either. This is where we are now. And even if last Tuesday your friend made eye contact with the mouse eating their delivery food leftovers on top of the trashcan pile, even if your friend named the mouse Robert, even if your friend texted you that you’re never going to believe how smart Robert is, Robert just pushed the bedroom door open all by himself... We all know that Robert has to go. The Jawz mousetraps are very effective. They come in a pack of two in case Robert also has a friend, and you can use solid and liquid bait, which is convenient. Robert will die via a “high tension spring.” Don’t tell your friend.

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A Good Umbrella

A Good Umbrella

And now it’s time to go outside! Maybe it’s not time yet. But let’s say it’s time! Get them a solid umbrella. No more bodega/convenience store umbrellas for them! The Repel Easy Touch Umbrella 11.5-Inch DuPont Teflon Travel Umbrella is compact, light, resilient, and it’s got a life time guarantee. What an inspiration. Here’s a fun idea. Don’t buy a black umbrella. Yellow is a good color too.

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Nice Soap for the Bathroom

Nice Soap for the Bathroom

That was a really nice walk. Your friend actually ran into another friend who is more attractive than you and had a nice long chat about that great yellow umbrella they just got and made plans to hang out sometime. There is going to be a lot of things to do, but first things first: there is no reason not to have nice soap in the bathroom. Mrs. Meyer’s Hand Soap Lemon Verbena is a nice soap and can be ordered in threes.

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Don’t Break the Phone

Don’t Break the Phone

You know what is really distracting? Dropping your phone like a goddamn idiot. But it’s not your friend’s fault right now. I highly recommend the Speck Presidio Grip Phone Case with the ridges. It’s not stylish. Not at all. But it doesn’t just protect the phone when it falls, it keeps the phone from falling out of your grip in the first place. So when everything goes wrong again and they’re stumbling through a public park crying and trying to catch Pokemon at 3am, this is a good case. Here’s also a pretty and less intense case just in case. Get some screen protectors too.

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Desk Stuff to Do Desk Stuff With, Later

Desk Stuff to Do Desk Stuff With, Later

It’s time to get some shit done. Make some lists. Get the things on the list done. But first, get some post-its. Notebooks. Organizers. That’s the stuff. I like Poppin specifically because you can literally browse by color. Get a whole desk of stuff in a gentle mint green, an optimistic cobalt or a determined orange. It’s almost like house decorating, so it won’t feel like a pity gift, which it’s absolutely not. These are nice things your friend deserves.

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An Art That’s Also a Snow Globe and Also Says “FUCK”

An Art That’s Also a Snow Globe and Also Says “FUCK”

I earnestly recommend this cheerful decorative snow globe from the New Museum store. Great for mid-way points and freshly cleaned and organized tops of tables. It expresses feelings from frustration to triumph; it is fluid. It’s designed by Nora Ligorano and Marshall Reese, a hotshit collaborative artist duo since the ‘80s. So this is an actual art piece. It says “FUCK.”

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A Portable Battery

A Portable Battery

This Jackery portable battery has been recommended to me by someone who carries a lot of different gadgets with them for photojournalism purposes. Your friend might not need every thing in the Jackery Giant+ Premium 12,000 mAh Dual USB Portable Battery Charger & External Battery Pack with Panasonic Battery Cells and Aluminum Shell. But it will come in handy when they want to take a much longer walk outside. It will also help you back off and give them some space. It’s ok. Their phone is charged. All of their devices are charged. They’re not dropping off the radar. They just don’t need to talk to you right now.

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A Cordless Drill to Fix All the Things

A Cordless Drill to Fix All the Things

A nice cordless drill could change your life. And if life is going pretty ok right now, you can use a drill to fix sagging shelves, unhinged bed frames (for the time being, get a new bed frame later) and all kinds of long-broken things around the house. Just think of the short term possibilities!

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Mood Lighting

Mood Lighting

Maybe their apartment still needs some work, but the Philips Bloom lights are really sweet. I mean, if you think they need one of those special lights that NY Mag says Ohio’s Nationwide Children’s Hospital uses for light therapy, get one of those. This light has no special happy powers, but just one or three of these guys will spruce up the whole room into a wonderfully multi-hued fun zone. But please, don’t forget to also get them the Philips Hue Bridge that makes the whole setup work, or they’ll spend an hour trying to figure out why their light isn’t working and how that’s their fault.

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Love Yourself

Love Yourself

Do not give anything like this to your friend unless you and your friend are on the same or adjacent plane of intimacy, or you’re going to be a creep. But if you feel like it’s ok, and they’re spending most of their time sighing into Tinder and doing something less effective at home anyway...

The Lelo Ina 2 waterproof rabbit style vibrator is quiet, waterproof, and has eight settings. If that’s a fit for you, great. If not, you get the point.

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Jalapeños Poppers Stand

Jalapeños Poppers Stand

This is it. This is the final level. Nothing says you have your shit together like a stainless steel 36-hole oven stand created specifically for serving a single kind of appetizer—the jalapeños popper, a wonderful hot and cheesy treat. That’s all this thing does. They can do that now. They have just the thing for just that, and that’s beautiful.

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Gifts for People Who Need a Hero Who Isn't Another White Guy

Batman. Spider-Man. Superman. Captain America. Doctor Strange. Et cetera. They’re all heroes, and they all have plenty of merchandise which is going to fill gift guides from one corner of the internet to the other. So we thought we’d bring you the otherheroes, stories, collectibles, and more for those of you looking to diversify your gift-giving this year.

Luke Cage Original Soundtrack Vinyl

Luke Cage Original Soundtrack Vinyl

You don’t have to be a fan of Marvel’s latest Netflix TV series to love the soundtrack to Luke Cage. Seriously. We suppose it helps, but composers Adrian Younge and Ali Shaheed Muhammad’s score—an incredible amalgam of hip hop, R&B, orchestral music, and more—is an unbelievable listen whether you know who Power Man is or not. This exclusive release contains two LPs, beautiful cover art by Matthew Woodson, and ships in late November.

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Monstress, Vol. 1: Awakening

Monstress, Vol. 1: Awakening

Reading Monstress is like visiting the world of an epic Japanese role-playing video game that doesn’t actually exist. The series tells the story of Maika, a young girl from an occult race of creatures who have been enslaved and harvested like livestock in the aftermath of a large-scale magic war that rocked an alternate-reality Asian continent.

Sana Takeda’s artwork makes Monstress one of the most beautiful comics being published today flood your eyes with sumptuous Art Deco detailing and melodramatic storytelling.

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Angel Catbird Vol. 1 by Margaret Atwood

Angel Catbird Vol. 1 by Margaret Atwood

The acclaimed, award-winning author has written novels, poetry, short stories, TV scripts, and non-fiction—so maybe you aren’t shocked to discover her latest work has ventured into the realm of graphic novels, but that doesn’t make it any less great.

Aimed at readers ages 8-12 years old (but anyone older can enjoy it, too), Angel Catbird is all about a scientist’s adventures after an experiment gone awry makes him part-cat, part-bird. The second volume in the series, another collaboration with artists Johnnie Christmas and Tamra Bonvillain, is due in February.

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Death’s End by Liu Cixin

Death’s End by Liu Cixin

Death’s End is the final book in Liu’s Remembrance of Earth’s Past trilogy, which makes it the capper to both The Three-Body Problem and The Dark Forest while also exploring the life of a new protagonist. In Death’s End, the story is about rocket scientist Cheng Xin who comes from our time, but who wakes up in the future described in the previous two books. Her presence could easily disrupt the fragile peace everyone is working towards.

And if you have someone who loves fiction but doesn’t have any of this trilogy, why not pick up the whole thing for them? I know that I love nothing more than being promised that I’m not going to have to wait to read a whole series.

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Game of Thrones Sansa Stark Sigil Tote Bag

Game of Thrones Sansa Stark Sigil Tote Bag

On the most recent Game of Thrones season, Sansa Stark overcame absolute horrors, emerging as the kind of strong leader we never suspected she could be. One way she asserted her newfound strength was by creating a new Stark sigil, a symbol of her determination to reclaim Winterfell alongside Jon Snow. Its direwolf motif decorates this sturdy green tote, which has a zippered top and is perfect for carrying a few George R.R. Martin paperbacks—and maybe a few snack-sized lemon cakes, too.

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The Expanse: Season 1

The Expanse: Season 1

The Expanse is a show with an epic scale and very human dramas. The cast is large and diverse, and it’s a show that really understands how to integrate space and space travel into a story.

It’s also a show weaving space opera, political intrigue, and film noir into one big conspiracy thriller. It’s beautiful, it’s complicated, and it’s worth everyone’s time.

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Supergirl: Season 1

Supergirl: Season 1

Did you somehow miss season one of Supergirl? Well, then your life was infinitely less fun than ours was. This is a show that reveled in having a female lead, a female mentor, and a pair of sisters as the central familiar bond, making it stand out next to its kin The Flash and Arrow. Plus, literally everything out of Cat Grant’s (Calista Flockhart) mouth is a beautiful gem. And now she’s not around anymore for the show’s second season, making this set even more precious.

The DVDs/Blu-rays include documentaries on Martian Manhunter and Krypton, a gag reel, and deleted scenes.

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Berserk: The Golden Age Arc Movie Collection

Berserk: The Golden Age Arc Movie Collection

Kentaro Miura’s dark fantasy manga comes to life in these three epic anime movies, collected here for a shockingly reasonable price.

In the trilogy, mercenary Guts is forced to fight for the kingdom of Doldrey, is branded an outlaw, fights a demon horde, and then things sort of get worse from there. Warning: There is no part of Berserk that is suitable for kids.

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Mad Max: Fury Road Black & Chrome Edition

Mad Max: Fury Road Black & Chrome Edition

Yes, okay, it’s hard to imagine that there are people out there that don’t own Mad Max: Fury Road already. But December 6 is the day that the long-awaited black and white version is available on Blu-Ray.

This colorless version is the one that director George Miller says is the best version of the film, making this an essential for fans.

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Mad Max: Fury Road “Furiosa” Print

Mad Max: Fury Road “Furiosa” Print

If owning Fury Road the movie isn’t enough of a gift—and why should it be—then we highly recommend you also include this gorgeous 24x36-inch print of Charlize Theron’s Furiosa by Craig Drake.

Somehow, the ‘80s fashion art style suits the Imperator perfectly, and let’s not forget she’s the real hero of the film. Only 225 prints were made, which makes them almost as valuable as water and gasoline.

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Ms. Marvel Omnibus Vol. 1

Ms. Marvel Omnibus Vol. 1

Kamala Khan is one of the biggest heroes to come out of Marvel Comics in years—a hero that’s inspired a whole new era of hip, young, and diverse superhero stories in mainstream comics.

Kamala’s riding high in the current comics, striking out on her own as a member of the Champions after a stint with the Avengers, but if you’ve not been keeping up with her, this extensive omnibus, featuring the character’s first series (before Marvel re-launched its comics line up last year) and other Ms. Marvel-focused vignettes from issues of SHIELD and Amazing Spider-Man, is essential reading material.

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The Force Awakens Finn and Riot Control Stormtrooper 1:6-Scale Action Figure Set

Even a year after The Force Awakens released, we still can’t get over the movie’s most climactic duel: not Rey vs. Kylo Ren, but Finn against that one extremely gung-ho Stormtrooper who yelled “TRAITOR!!!!” at him. Recreate the moment that spawned a thousand memes in stunning detail with this set of 12-inch tall figures from Hot Toys—Finn comes with a lightsaber, blaster, and thermal detonators, while the riot trooper comes with his stun baton, a shield, and the rifle he casually tosses aside to engage in a melee fight with a lightsaber wielder. Dummy

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Gifts for Adults Who Still Like Toys and Things, Which Is Totally Normal Nowadays, Shut Up

We have no shame about all the toys and collectibles we buy, and you shouldn’t either. You should have even less shame about giving them to your loved ones this holiday season, because seriously, have you seen most pop culture swag nowadays? Because pop culture swag nowadays is sweet as hell. Here’s the proof.

Game of Thrones The Wall Playset with Tyrion Lannister Figure

Game of Thrones The Wall Playset with Tyrion Lannister Figure

Funko doesn’t just make those big-headed Pop vinyl toys that seemingly cover every franchise on the planet. In the case of Game of Thrones, they actually make a whole line of 3.75-inch action figures too. Most of the current toys are based on characters from the Night’s Watch and beyond the wall, which makes this playset depicting a chunk of the wall perfect to display them upon. It even comes with a Tyrion Lannister figure to start with, if you ever wanted to recreate the moment he empties his bladder atop the tallest structure in Westeros on your desk

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Mr. Robot fsociety mask

Mr. Robot fsociety mask

Young Elliot and Darlene grew up obsessed with a very weird, very gory film called The Careful Massacre of the Bourgeoisie; it was a thematic influence on their lives, and it also inspired the “face” of their hacker group, fsociety. Gift this grinning replica to your favorite Mr. Robot fan to add to their hoodie collection. It would look just as good displayed on a wall as it would being worn in an anti-Evil Corp video. The website selling the masks offers a volume discount, in case you need 100 of them to jump-start your own revolution.

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Star Trek Enterprise Quadcopter

Star Trek Enterprise Quadcopter

Starfleet Academy doesn’t exist (yet), so your dreams of flying the Enterprise may seem to be unreachable. Not so, thanks to this rather amazing remote-controlled quadcopter of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701-A. Besides, you know, actually flying, it has 10 authentic lights and sounds, and it also easy enough that any beginner will feel like a captain in no time.

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Saga Lying Cat Statue

Saga Lying Cat Statue

Unless you’re someone trying to scam their way through life, chances are that you love Lying Cat, the unofficial mascot of comic-book series Saga. Now the feline who only ever says one word of dialogue jumps from the pages of the best-selling sci-fi series by Brian K. Vaughn and Fiona Staples. Just look at that widdle judgmental grimace! Who can resist it? You can? “Lying.”

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Marvel Collector Corps Subscription

Marvel Collector Corps Subscription

You know how Lootcrate sends its subscribers a box of collectibles and toys and shirts and stuff each month? Well, this is Lootcrate but without the risk of getting something that isn’t based around Funko’s adorably large-headed Marvel hero. Each crate is themed around a different Marvel character or team (e.g., Doctor Strange, Spider-Man, the X-Men) and contains at least $50 of exclusive Funko Marvel toys, shirts, and collectibles—for only half the price. Six boxes are released every year!

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“Roamer Road Map” Print

“Roamer Road Map” Print

Inspired by The Walking Dead, Athony Petrie’s beautiful print maps Rick Grimes’s home stage of Georgia, while presenting a topographical chart of the stark reality that zombies will be killing most of his friends and loved ones.

This 24x26-inch print is limited to a run of 100, so don’t dawdle if you want to give it to someone (or want it for yourself).

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Back to the Future Part II Marty McFly 1:6 Figure

Travel back in time to the far-flung future of 2015 with this wonderfully detailed figure based on Back to the Future Part II’s memorable imagining of what 2015 might look like to someone in 1989. Featuring Marty McFly in his 2015-appropriate attire—right down to the shiny baseball cap and even the self-lacing Nike shoes!—this 12-inch tall figure comes with a ton of fun accessories… and yes, of course he has the hoverboard too, and even a stand for you to pose him on it mid-flight.

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Steven Universe Monopoly

Steven Universe Monopoly

There’s no shortage of novelty Monopoly variations out there, but this Steven Universe set is special. As you move your way around the board using your adorable token (your choices: Peridot’s Boot, Garnet’s Gauntlet, Roaming Eye, Ukulele, Greg’s Van, or Lion), you might just land on Big Donut or the top-dollar property, Beach City Boardwalk... and if you have enough Crystal Gem-themed cash on hand, you can buy the damn place. And forget about building a house or a hotel in this version of Monopoly—it’s all Gems and Cluster Gems here.

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Mega Bloks Star Trek U.S.S. Enterprise Bridge Collector Construction Set

Mega Bloks Star Trek U.S.S. Enterprise Bridge Collector Construction Set

I have spent most of my life wanting to be on the bridge of U.S.S. Enterprise. And now I am an adult and I still want that ship’s bridge in my home, which is made possible with this set that also includes Kirk, Spock, Uhura, and Sulu. It’s a nice set for the Star Trek fan that won’t completely break the bank.

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Lego Star Wars Death Star

For 17 years Lego has made playsets based on the galaxy far, far away, but this is by far the biggest: a fully armed and operational Lego battle station. Featuring just over four thousand pieces and over 20 mini-figures, this humongous display piece lets fans recreate iconic scenes from A New Hope and Return of the Jedi, from Luke and Leia’s swing across the chasm, to the duel between Darth Vader and Luke in the Emperor’s throne room. This is a set for serious Lego and Star Wars diehards— just be prepared to spend a weekend building it.

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Captain America Civil War Marvel Legends Action Figure 3-Pack

Captain America Civil War Marvel Legends Action Figure 3-Pack

Tom Holland’s new Spider-Man stole the show in Captain America: Civil War earlier this year, but if you’re looking for merchandise of the Marvel Cinematic Universe-approved webslinger, it’s hard to beat this brilliant version from Hasbro’s 6-inch line of Marvel Legends action figures. Spidey’s only available in this box set, with variant versions of Captain America and Iron Man, battle-damaged from their brutal scuffle during the film’s climax. Tony and Steve come with alternate heads, Cap’s battle-scarred shield, and repulsor-blast effects pieces, but the real highlight is your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man in his new movie costume

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Green Arrow Q-Fig Figure

Green Arrow Q-Fig Figure

He may be a brooding hunk with great abs and a refusal to shave on Arrow, but we prefer this adorable tiny version of DC’s Emerald Archer. Mainly because in this 4-inch statue, he’s firing his trademark boxing glove arrow, of course. We generally think all of Green Arrow’s trick arrows should be boxing glove arrows. Basically, we just want there to be more boxing glove arrow merchandise for Green Arrow. Also we’d like to quit writing the word “arrow.”

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Gifts to Help You Survive and Prosper After the Apocalypse

All things must come to an end, including human civilization. Whether it’s a superbug pandemic tomorrow or a supernova sun in billions of years, one day, somehow, the apocalypse will arrive. You and loved ones plan on being ready for it, and ready for what comes after.

Here are eleven damn useful holiday gifts to ensure that you not only survive the End Times but rebuild and prosper, zombie hordes be damned.

RADEX RD1503+ Geiger Counter and Radiation Detector

RADEX RD1503+ Geiger Counter and Radiation Detector

Living in an apocalyptic wasteland, you’re naturally going to be concerned about nuclear radiation. That’s where Quatra-Rad’s RADEX 1503+ high accuracy geiger counter and radiation detector can help. This handheld device can be used to measure beta, gamma, and x-ray radiation, so you’ll never have to wonder if that meal you just scrounged up is going to make your insides explode. It’s got an easy-to-use interface, and an audio and vibration alarm that’ll go off when you venture too close to an area bathing in radioactive waste. It takes a pair of AAA batteries, so you’ll need to stock up on those too before armageddon hits.

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Relentless Improvement’s Potassium Iodine Tablets

Relentless Improvement’s Potassium Iodine Tablets

Speaking of radiation, you’re also going to want to load up on some high-potency potassium iodine. Known as KI to chemists, this chemical compound prevents radioactive iodine from being absorbed by the thyroid gland, which is a very good thing seeing as your thyroid plays critical role in metabolism, growth, and development.

When a person ingests potassium iodine, the thyroid gland becomes “full,” preventing radioactive iodine from filtering in for 24 hours. Pop one of these suckers if you’re at risk of being zapped by some gamma radiation, and you can rest with ease. Do yourself a favor and grab a bunch, but pay attention to those expiration dates.

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MPOWERD Solar LED Light

MPOWERD Solar LED Light

The apocalypse may sound dark, but your survival bunker shouldn’t be. Provided this isn’t a Matrix-esque robots-blacking-out-the-sky situation, MPOWERD’s solar-powered LED lantern will keep your long nights illuminated, lasting up to 12 hours on a single, seven-hour charge. And if you’re planning to go backpacking through civilization’s wreckage, don’t forget to bring it along, too. The lantern is collapsible, waterproof, and weighs just 4.4 pounds.

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LifeStraw Water Filter

LifeStraw Water Filter

Of all the ways civilization could end, a bio-apocalypse has to be of the scariest. After all, survivors are just one contaminated drink away from agonizing death (followed by re-animation as a zombie, obviously). To survive, you’ll need a water purifier that can remove all sorts of deadly bugs, from anthrax spores and bubonic plague to tiny, genetically modified superviruses. Available in 5 and 12 liter sizes, LifeStraw’s gravity-fed water filter is rated to remove 99.99+ percent of biological contaminants, and has a lifetime capacity of 18,000 liters.

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UST Blastmatch Fire Starter

UST Blastmatch Fire Starter

You’re going to have a lot of new skills to learn once armageddon hits. With a good fire starter, at least, you can ensure your meat is properly cooked until you master the art of striking flint against knife. This handy survival device ignites in rain or shine, and is good for up to 4,000 strikes—which gives you plenty of time to figure out how to make fires the old fashioned way.

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TITAN Extra-Thick Emergency Sleeping Bag

TITAN Extra-Thick Emergency Sleeping Bag

Rated to keep astronauts warm during space exploration—provided you also have a decent spacecraft—TITAN’s emergency sleeping bag is a must-have for apocalypse survivors seeking to weather the most extreme environmental changes. (Remember Snowpiercer? A climate apocalypse doesn’t necessarily mean global warming.) Best of all, this extra warm sleeping bag packs into a nylon drawstring bag that’ll fit comfortably in your survival pack.

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Leatherman Signal Multi-Tool

Leatherman Signal Multi-Tool

Described as one tool with “a couple thousand uses,” Leatherman’s Signal multi-tool won’t solve all of your problems in the apocalypse, but it’ll solve a lot of the little ones, from cutting through barbed wire fences to picking locks to opening all of those canned rations you’re going to be eating. The multi-tool features two kinds of pliers, wire cutters and strippers, a combo knife, a saw, a hammer, a box wrench, and more. The only tool I can’t imagine getting much use in the apocalypse is the safety whistle.

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Anker Solar Power Charger Port

Eventually, you’re going to have to get used to a low-tech lifestyle after civilization collapses. But with a little care and a sun-powered charger, your beloved smartphones, tablets, and laptops might last a long time—definitely long enough to memorize every movie and TV show you downloaded back to front. Anker’s 15 Watt USB charger is compact, lightweight, and rated to convert about 20 percent of the sun’s energy into sweet, sweet electricity, enough to charge two devices simultaneously. Of course, if nuclear winter forces you to migrate underground, get used to reading paper books again.

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Survival Garden: 15,000 Heirloom Seeds

Survival Garden: 15,000 Heirloom Seeds

One of my favorite apocalypse writers, Paolo Bacigalupi, thinks a lot about the future of food. In his hit science fiction novel The Windup Girl, aggressive genetic modification of the global food supply renders our staple crops susceptible to horrific diseases. Only after generations of ecological destruction do scientists realize the error of their ways, and begin hunting for lost genetic diversity to fortify the world’s dwindling food supply.

Whether or not we’re in for a GMO-trigged ag-pocalypse, the ability to grow a variety of foods will be critical to our long-term survival after collapse. With 32 varieties of fruits and vegetables from corn to kale to cantaloupe, this 15,000 seed survival garden is going to be your lifeline, so keep it somewhere safe.

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George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones

George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones

Nothing like an actual armageddon to make violent fantasy realms seem pretty relatable, am I right? Entertainment is a must in the post-apocalyptic future, and if your people can’t get their kicks from stories, they’re going to start torturing animals. With this 5-box set of George R.R. Martin’s Game of Thrones series, you can relive the exhilarating adventures of Starks, Targaryens and Lannisters long after HBO’s dead.

Let’s just hope our buddy George gives this series an ending before the End Times hits.

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The Knowledge: How to Rebuild Civilization in the Aftermath of a Cataclysm, by Lewis Dartnell

The Knowledge: How to Rebuild Civilization in the Aftermath of a Cataclysm, by Lewis Dartnell

Surviving the apocalypse isn’t just about fighting off zombies and cannibalistic road warriors, although those bits are important and exciting. Eventually, once you and your fellow survivors establish a secure base, you need to think about rebuilding civilization. Lewis Dartnell’s The Knowledge will help you get started.

We take for granted the centuries of accumulated learning, in everything from mining to medicine, that’s enabled countless technologies and consumer goods to permeate our lives. But after the global supply chain and industrial-scale production collapses, we’re going to have to learn how to do a lot of things from scratch. Want to build a radio? First, you’ll need to extract metals from the ground, produce electricity, and learn to solve problems like an engineer. Dartnell’s apocalypse guide is a brilliant primer on all of this and more.

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Gifts for People Who Don't Want to Leave Their House Ever Again

The holidays are upon us and while I’m sure a lot of people are planning to spend them in the warm embrace of family and friends some of us prefer the coolness of a completely empty house that we never, ever have to leave again.

These are the gifts for those people: the disparate degenerates who could probably go a whole year without physically touching another human being. I salute you and hope someone buys you something from this list.

Dyson Pure Hot Cool Link Purifier

Dyson Pure Hot Cool Link Purifier

If you’re a homebody than you get used to the myriad of odors excreted from your body and permeating the air. That is until the next time you leave the house and come home, wonder what died, and realize it was your dignity. This is where an air purifier comes in. They’re extremely necessary for the hermit you love and for the noses of the people whom they love. Dyson’s air purifier is ridiculously expensive, but it’s also a top-notch fan and a fantastic heater, and it can be controlled via your phone.

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PicoBrew

PicoBrew

Never leaving the house doesn’t mean you can’t have hobbies, and there are few things that better blend hobbies and the homebody existence than brewing your own beer. PicoBrew is a magical $800 system that lets you craft your own beer, or get pre-made packets of brew from great breweries like Abita and Flying Bike. Love a particular IPA but want to make a tiny tweak to it? Living in New York and unable to import your favorite beer from Portland? PicoBrew lets your favorite hikkomori do that.

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Canary Flex

Canary Flex

The worst part about never leaving the house is sometimes people knock on the door and you really don’t want to seek out pants or get up and answer. There’s a lot of fancy smart doorbells and cameras that solve this problem, but few are as simple to use as the Canary Flex camera. It’s waterproof, wireless, and can be attached to just about any surface you can think of. It’s also not an eye sore. The Canary Flex comes in black and white and uses the same software as the older, but also nice, Canary camera.

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Roku Premiere+

Roku Premiere+

If you’re never leaving the house there’s a good chance you’ll be spending a lot of time watching TV. This guide presumes you already own a TV because you are not Jesse Eisenberg. But owning a TV is only half the battle. You also need a way to watch Netflix, Hulu, and all the other streaming channels out there and most televisions that have that function don’t do it very well. So get the best set top box currently available. The Roku Premiere+ gives you access to Roku’s huge library of streaming channels in 4K, with HDR. It’s also got voice control so you don’t have to press a lot of buttons, and audio out on the remote itself, in case you want to watch a show without disturbing other people in your home.

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Cozmo

Never leaving the house doesn’t mean you can’t have pets. It just means you need to be creative with your companions. A dog is out because it requires a walking, and a cat is out because they claw everything, walk on counters after using the litterbox, and sing the song of their people at four in the morning. Cozmo, the adorable robot from Anki, is a much less time-intensive pet. Like a pet, it recognizes you and your moods, has moods of its own, and happily plays games with you. Unlike a pet, you don’t have to clean up after it or feed it.

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Amazon Dot

Amazon Dot

Being a modern day hermit is a lot nicer when your home is smart. Let’s assume you have some smart lights or a smart thermostat. Now you need a way to control it all with your voice like you’re in Star Trek. That’s where digital home assistants like Alexa and Google Assistant come in. The Amazon Echo, powered by Alexa, is louder, and the Google Home, powered by Google Assistant, is faster and more responsive, but the Amazon Dot is cheaper than both. At just $50 you can buy enough to outfit half your house for the same prices as a Google Home. That’s a lot of amazing home control for not a lot of money.

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Blankie Tails Shark Blanket

Blankie Tails Shark Blanket

You’ve got to stay comfy, and because you’ve forgotten what the sky looks like it doesn’t matter what that comfort looks like. This super soft bag-like blanket from Blankie makes it look like you’re being eaten by a shark, which is amusing on its own. But it’s also useful if you want to reach out to friends who never visit and make them think you’re being consumed by a large plush creature of the sea.

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Luxe Bidet Neo 185

Luxe Bidet Neo 185

Forget proportional representation in government elections—what Europe really has going for it are the bidets found in most homes and hotels. In the US, we wipe our rears like animals. In Europe, they wash their tooshies like they wash their hands. If a person is home all day they should have that kind of luxury available to them to. Fortunately it’s actually pretty easy to get your bidet on in the US. The water will be cold—which is going to be making waking up in the winter easier—but the Luxe Bidet Neo 185 can be self-installed on any toilet, cleans itself, has adjustable water pressure and even an adjustable nozzle for when ladies need to clean their front bits.

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NES Classic Edition

NES Classic Edition

Nintendo has a new system coming out next year that will be great for the gamer who lounges on the couch or travels night and day, but right now, for $60 when you can find it, Nintendo has a blast from the past. Even if you weren’t alive when the original Nintendo was released in 1985, you’ll still find something to love. This new NES Classic Edition system fits on your palm, and has 30 games, including all of the Super Mario Brothers games and Excite Bike. That’s a few weeks of entertainment for the price of one modern game. Not a bad deal for the person who never leaves the house.

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Playstation VR

Let’s be real. As wonderful as never leaving the house is, it can sometimes get boring—especially when you’ve been on the couch for eight hours straight and your ass is asleep. So why not get up and move? VR is a great way to do that, and because the homebody presumably lives alone they won’t have to worry about the biggest downside of VR—looking like a dweeb. Google and Samsung both make great portable VR systems, and HTC and Oculus have solid ones to connect to your PC, but the Playstation VR headset sits right in the sweet spot. This is the system you buy if you want to get a taste of the future or experience the world as Batman.

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DJI Mavic Pro

Let’s be real. You need vitamin D to survive. You can get it with an inhouse tanning bed or a long walk in your neighborhood, or you could go into your backyard and fly a 21st century kite. If it ever ships, the Mavic Pro by DJI will be a great choice. The $1000 Mavic is cheaper than DJI’s other drones, can be folded up small enough to fit in your hand, and can be controlled either by controller, with your phone, or with your voice. It also can be attached to a new VR helmet from DJI, which means you can walk your entire neighborhood without ever leaving the house.

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